2005-06-12 - 8:02 p.m.
What I'm listening to: It was 1948 (Tra La La La La)-Quiver.
This song came off of a reel to reel tape that my uncle made in 1972. Most of the songs came from the radio, back when CKBY in Ottawa was a top 40 station, and since he had cable hooked up to the stereo, he could get CHOM from Montreal.
I think this band is British. I haven't found them anywhere, but I have found some albums on Ebay.
So I'm walking up L'Esplanade this afternoon, playing eyesies with other people's garbage, and I come across this open suitcase with a bunch of stuff in it, marked "Free Stuff". Price is right, let's see what's inside.
Found a semi-portable sewing machine, which my companion claimed, and I found an old photo album, with pictures taken out, except on page with some old family snap shots from the 1960s to 1973. I guess they forgot to take those out. One picture was a child receiving communion, another shot of family dinners, a studio portrait, an extended family in front what appears to be a new house. The standard fare.
Then I found a videotape, with no case but a label with the address of the house. I figured that this should be interesting, and if it's blank I'll just tape over it. Admittedly, a small part of me was wondering why somebody would throw away perfectly good porn, if that's what it turns out to be.
I wasn't far off. The first shots are of a tunnel-like space, with some white missles shooting down the shaft. A reproduction video? But there is no sound track. Hmmmm....search on..
So the camera keeps on moving down this shaft at varying speeds, with a feet counter on the bottom right hand corner of the screen. Keep on searching, the foot counter is now going down and the camera seems to be moving backwards. I also see some fluid like material around the shaft running down into what appears to be the depths of hell. Keep going, and the camera surfaces. You can see where this is going. Staring right at me is the biggest ass I've ever seen, with clamps around the rectum to make room for this camera.
Yes ladies and gentleman, I just inherited a colonoscopy video from the garbage. Imagine how freaky this would be if I were stoned?
What's even funnier is that the company that made the video has their advertising banner shamelessly displayed across the top of the video, with phone number of course. Good to know, for all your silent filmmaking needs.
