2005-05-04 - 11:40 a.m.
What I'm listening to: Cheese Cake-Dexter Gordon.
So last night I think I experienced what would be called a bad trip. After smoking got really really lazy, felt like I was going to die of a heart attack, so I went to bed. Lying down, I felt like I was lowering and raising, as well as my head was sinking into the ground ostrich like. I caught a bit of a chill yesterday, so I thought that I should rest anyway, to kill off any bugs that may be taking some kind of sojourn in my immune system. My nose swelled up so I couldn't breathe, except through my mouth, which of course makes for a dry throat.
This happened around 7pm. Woke up around 9am this morning. Yup, bad trip, and my body needed the rest. From what though? So much admin to do now that I'm back and still have to look for an apartment.
Come to think of it, I haven't smoked tobacco this morning, just shisha. The pipe tobacco that I got in Oxford is pretty nasty, but I feel the need to finish it. If I throw it out instead of smoking it, then I'm really burning money away.
I have some paperwork to do for my fellowship for next year, so that finally got done this morning, and soon after I drop that shit off I'll be heading over to the library to look for apartment ads. One thing scares me: cockroaches. God I hate those things. I hate them more than sour milk I hate them more than being harrassed at customs every time I try to get on a plane I hate them so Sam I am.
I think what the problem is is finding boundaries. I decided that I would like to live north of St. Viateur, closer to Jean Talon, because the rents are supposed to be less. But, that is a lot of ground to cover. I found it easier to look for a place in the ghetto. It's so nice and compact. But then again, I took a lot of time to find this place, and it's more of a home than a transitionary space, in my mind. So I probably have a mental block. This place is cozy, so leaving won't be easy. I've had a lot of good times here, and for all intensive purposes, it is my first apartment, so I will be attached to it.
As much as I wanted to avoid it, I just may have to get roomates next year, in order to live in the ultra hip neighbourhood.
