2005-04-25 - 12:35 a.m.
What I'm listening to: More Than This-Roxy Music.
So she has a boyfriend. Not that it would matter, because nothing will come of it anyway, for the time being anyway. But who knows, maybe our paths will cross again in the future.
But, that being said, my day in Cambridge was the highlight of this trip. I don't remember the last time I've felt that relaxed, and I don't remember the last time I've connected with someone that quickly, and felt that mutually comfortable. The conversation flowed all over, from quirky pop culture references (mostly my contribution of course) and ditties about this and that, here and there.
I didn't take one photograph the whole day. That type of technological mediation would have ruined the memories. Her big brown eyes, and gorgeous smile will always be burned in my memory, so why corrupt that idealization with a photographic representation?
We spent the afternoon together, just wandering around, drinking coffee, sitting in parks, talking, smoking, laughing, exchanging eyesies and smiles. She showed me Cambridge-her Cambridge. Her college, her hangouts, her own personl narrative of the city. We got to share that time and space. I shared some thoughts with her that I haven't told a soul. Distance really is that safe. She doesn't know the people that I was talking about, and is far enough away that expressing those thoughts could remain in trust.
We connected. We opened up. We shared feelings, fears, sentiments. We shared. We shared testimonial conversation time, things to see. We connected without trying. I felt like I've almost found a 'replacement' for Anne, who was my first love. She was incredible, moreso now that she is gone and the romantic idealization of the past has set in. But this Cambridge student, is more. More kind, less selfish, and not as condescending.
After spending a wonderful day with her, strolling, I was actually looking forward to seeing some of my cousins. Honestly, I would rather stare into the sun with a hi-powered telescope rather than spend time with some of them. She rejuvinated me, made me feel really really good. Made me look forward to activities that ordinarily would drive me...raving mad.
