2005-04-23 - 6:28 p.m.
I'll be seeing her tomorrow.....
The conference...all in all a good experience. Good to meet a lot of interesting people. One in particular, one of the organizers.
She wrote a paper on autobiography and Palestinian identity. I remember our last conversation. Just the two of us alone in the hallway, before we parted company, before I left Northampton to go to my cousins' house in Luton. I remember losing myself, gazing into her big brown eyes, as we talked about Edward Said and autobiography, and thinking to myself...wow..., you are incredible.
I had a dream about such a woman, anonymous at the time. This dream occured in Paris. I remember my eyes closed, hearing her voice. We were alone on the sofa, locked in embrace, legs intertwined, exchanging the odd word, necking. Before waking up I remember thinking how good this felt, and how long it's been. I remember the brushes along the cheeks between each kiss.
A kiss under the jaw line, a breath on the shoulder, a nuzzle behind the ear leading to a gentle kiss behind the neck right under the end of the hairline, ending on her back, the shoulder blade, spine and lower back to be precise.
On the car ride back to Luton, staring off into the greenery, remembering her big brown eyes, I imagined how wonderful it would be to be compressed under a heavy duvet with her, spooning, exchanging kisses, breaths and occasional giggles among light touches from the hips over to the belly, down the thighs ending at the side of the knee and slowly back up to her elbow, nuzzles and nibbles around the earlobe. The thoughs of Edward Said being implicitly between us, an unspoken bond of cerebral connectivity.
And she has a gorgeous coat. Patterned, mauve and white, checkered, trench, knee-length.
Part of this attraction is that nothing will ever happen, but will always be fantasy. I vowed never to do a distance thing ever again. It makes spooning, holding hands, and wandering in silence, writing our very own narrative of the city all the more difficult.
She, did her undergrad at Berkeley and went straight to her PhD at Cambridge. I'm in the presence of greatness.
The kiss...
