2005-03-28 - 12:43 p.m.
What I'm listening to: Indra-The Thievery Corporation
It feels like England outside. Cold and wet, and around zero, so the windows are slightly open. While lying in bed this morning, I could hear the cars go by on the wet pavement. Must've rained this morning, I thought.
I really miss speed. Looking at all these cars on Ebay is bad for the health. I love the urban life, walking and metro-ing and bussing everywhere, but I miss driving as a leisure activity. I miss being a passenger, I miss road trips, and I miss just the simple enjoyment of touring. And then there's speed....
Lately at home we've been buying cars that are more touring sedans. They're like living rooms on wheels. My parents are 'old people' now, so as my dad said once: "I don't enjoy that thrill of acceleration the way I used to".
Ahhh..I remember, when we had sports cars, luxury sedans, etc. I remember. I remember hitting 170km/h through the Lafontaine Tunnel on one trip to Montreal. It took about an hour to wipe the smile off my face.
I remember making the Montreal-Ottawa run in an hour and ten minutes once. I didn't even have to change the cd. at 2am on a weekday, who's going to care?
I remember renting that beautiful silver Mazda Miata convertible the last time I was in California. I've never felt the sensation of speed like that before. Even if you're not speeding, but with the top down, in a car that small and being that low to the ground...wow. I rented it in San Diego in order to drive up the coast a bit as well as to head to Anza Borrego to do some desert photography. Flying around the Southern California backroads with the top down at speeds averaging 90mph was sheer ecstasy.
The last speed experience was when I went to visit my cousin in Toronto who's a mechanic. He's way more into cars that I am, and has a higher turnover. He had bought a BMW 535i last summer, and I hadn't had a chance to drive it yet. We got in the car, went north for a bit into the country and just took off. Boy that car is fast, and tight around the corners, but I still prefer Mercedes over BMW, even if the former is owned by Chrysler now. What was even nicer is that we hadn't seen each other since our grandmother's funeral. I've been reclusive with extended family affairs lately for personal reasons, and just generally busy settling into my new life in Montreal.
So it was nice to catch up, and it was nice to be reminded that this is one of the many distance friendships that I have that can pick up again where it left off regardless of how much time lapse has passed in between meetings.
His wife is British, and I'll be meeting a lot of her family when I go to the UK. They are wonderful people. I first met them through relatives when I lived in London. I would change the rotation of the earth for them, if it were humanly possible.
A colleague at one of the parties last night asked me if I was ok, generally, which I thought was a nice gesture. This colleague asked if I was settling into Montreal life and grad school ok. I replied: "yes, thanks for asking". Well, my response was longer than that but you get the idea.
These days I'm attending the department parties more of out 'duty', I guess you could say. Meaning that, I like going to them because I know people there that are fun to hang out with, but I'm still pretty detached these days, generally, because of being focused on finishing my semester by next Wednesday before I go to the conference. Still much to do, but it is manageable. When I think about why I am here, yes I do like socializing, but first and foremost I'm here to learn and expand my horizons, academically as well as personally. That being said, I worked fucking hard to get here, and I won't let anything mess that up. So being detached doesn't bother me that much, because school comes first. And, this feeling of detachment is only transitionary so I'm not worried. I'll be good as new once I've recharged my battery in Europe.
I heard that one prof in the department said that he thinks that classes should be over now, as people are tired. True that, we are. This prof has also given me peace of mind in a way that is most welcome at this point in my academic and personal career.
I may have mentioned before that I keep on thinking about ideas of equality and difference. Some of the readings that has bee in the course pack has answered all of these questions for me, but these questions are by no means closed: initial queries are satisified, but I feel like I have a better foundation now to think about these questions in a more mature way. The thought process can follow through more coherently than before.
I can see people out the window walking along with grocery bags. Looks like the grocery stores are open today. Glad to see that, because I'll be making Thai Mushroom Soup tonight, and I'm not sure if I have enough coconut milk.
