2005-03-21 - 11:39 p.m.
What I'm listening to: Baker Street, by Gerry Rafferty.
I just enjoyed one of life's simple pleasures. Leaning against a column of the Arts Building at school, with my shoulder nestled into one of the indents, smoking away, peacefully in solitude, gazing at the nocturnal activity of the city while listening to the ambient noise of downtown.
I must admit though, I am rather troubled by something, to the point of being outraged. I just found out that a friend is bi-polar. What's upsetting is that this friend feels that the worst part about it is that this friend feels alone in this state, and thinks that everyone else is really together.
What is so irritating is that more people than we know are bi-polar, but for some reason it's some taboo subject that can't be discussed publically like cancer or diabetes. Any illness in the human body is pretty serious, especially one where a big part of therapy is coming together, and talking about it with others, and realizing that one's not alone.
I fail to see why we can't change this. Why we can't accept the fact that adjustment issues, manifesting themselves in physiolgical conditions, is a big part of life, and should not be ignored, marginalized, or condemned, but treated.
I was considering a career in social work at one point. I was accepted to the Master's of Social Work programme at another university, on the condition that I gain work experience before the next September, when course work starts. This was a problem, as I was already working full time in my field, so when I thought about it some more I realized that as rewarding that career could have been, to make a difference in somebody's life at a personal level, where ideally, for the sucessful patients, they come out and have the chance to live life better than ever, I was not prepared to put in 40hrs a week at work, then another 25 or so volunteering somewhere. At this point, I was not prepared to make that kind of sacrifice. But, for academia, I am prepared. If I feel like a change after this gig, maybe I'll go down the social work route again, or maybe another MA in Pastoral Studies.
I was visiting a family friend in ICU once, this would be a few years ago now, and I ran into an elder in the community who was also there. I inquired as to why he was there, if he was seeing the same family friend. He replied in the negative, and that this is his job. He was doing an MA in Pastoral Studies at the University, and he was a part of the regional interfaith dialogue, as well as part of his coursework, he spent time in ICU providing counselling, care and comfort to the families of the people who are in ICU for treatment. This is like his second career that he is doing over retirement. Before that, he was a career diplomat: a statistician.
I think that is a pretty cool gig, doing the MA in Pastoral Studies. But not now, later. The wish to enter into this type of work a few years ago was inspired by a very close friend, who is also bi-polar.
He is an old friend, and he had been having adjustment issues for sometime. Well, they eventually compounded. It was this time of year actually, right after reading week, the near end of winter and of the school year.
His family had taken him back to University. He was mad, generally, and started to throw things around in the house he was staying at (he was housesitting for some family friends). His family thought, 'we can't leave him here like this, we should take him back home'. So they drove back home, about a 6 hour drive. About half way through, he went to a public bathroom and started banging things. Somebody called the police, and an ambulance, and he was calmed down, I think, and taken to the nearest hospital. When all this happened, his grandmother was there, and was shaking at the sight of this happening to her grandson.
I got a call that night, and was informed of what was going on. The next day I took the day off of school and drove down to see him in the hospital. I met his sister outside, and she said 'be prepared, he's raving and he's strapped into the bed. Be prepared'. I went into the psychiatric ward of the hospital and saw him there, an image forever burned into my memory. When I arrived, his mother said that this is the first day that he is resting comforatbly and sleeping, but he had been given tranquilzers.
Many years have passed since this incident, and this friend is now better than ever, because he could talk to friends and family about his problems. He is off medication and living life better than I've ever seen him. He was very upset at some of the things that other friends said about him, calling him 'nutcase' and 'psych-job' and that sort of thing. If you care about somebody, you don't say things like that, let alone think them. Only time will tell, but I still haven't really forgiven those friends for saying things like that. Let's just say that they aren't my values.
I hope for a time where people who have had adjustment issues (I consciously avoid the term mental illness, and all its baggage) will be able to talk about these feelings openly, as with any other medical or social issues. I hope for a time where we can see that it's ok to be human, and it's ok be ill once and a while, as that's a part of being human.
