2005-03-21 - 12:01 a.m.
What I'm listening to: the sound of the tv, bugs bunny and elmer fudd, and the bubbling of the shisha pipe.
So one of my cousins is visiting for the weekend from Ottawa. I called him over a few days ago. I think I'm burning out, and really need some family around me. My parents are overseas, and it's not that easy for my brother and sister to come around, because they have kids, and are busy, etc, I respect that.
This cousin is more like a brother than a cousin. We grew up together, and went for pilgrimage together, etc. Been through a lot to say the least.
Family is the most important thing. It reminds you of who you are and where you came from. Regardless of where you are now, your history says it all: the foundations where you built your person upon.
I just had a couple of friends over for shisha and tea. It was very nice, and they had never been over before. After they left, I suddenly felt very sad. I've never felt like this after people have left, I'm usually pretty happy, because I like having people over, but this was different. Afterwards, I felt like crawling into bed and wrapping myself up in my duvet and shutting out the lights.
I'm not really sure why this sentiment is there. I'm not sure if I will miss them, which is probably the case. That's the first thing that comes to mind right now. It's probably burnout, from all the work I've had to do lately.
But I am looking forward to the conference. I'm looking forward to presenting my paper, and meeting all the others at the conference. I also have two appointments to meet with other academics that I'm interested in, while I'm there. One is someone who I've never met before, but whose work I adore. The other was my mentor in undergrad, who I have an undescribable (sp?) amount of respect and admiration for. He will be in the UK doing research while I am there, so we will meet to catch up. Come to think of it, I haven't seen him in a year or so. I miss sitting in his office and throwing ideas around. I have very vivid memories of sitting in his office, and throwing ideas around, and then when his latest book came out, I read the introduction, and a lot of the things that we talked about are in that book. I'm honoured to have been his student, and to be in the privileged position to be there, when he was bouncing ideas around while editing his anthology.
I'm also looking forward to seeing my cousins again. I have a trip to Paris to see friends planned as well. Old friends, stuck on the park bench like bookends (another Simon and Garfunkel lyric).
Usually when I travel somewhere, I buy a pipe as a souvenier of being somewhere else. So I've been checking online at pipe stores in London and Paris. There's one in London where Churchill and Oscar Wilde used to frequent-and the latter has an unpaid bill. Interesting folklore....
I've been bonding with a student in my department about school, and just general stuff. I've been working in the computer lab a lot and he is usually there. Haven't spent much time around him before, but he's a really cool guy-into maps and stuff and freakin' smart. I told him that I would bring him back his b-day present from Britain, and it's a surprise. He loves maps, so I'll find some ultra-cool map store in London and bring him back a historical map of something, something unique to the UK that he wouldn't find here. Hey, what are friends for.
I've noticed that a lot of people in the department are getting frustrated now. It's the near-end of winter, the end of the semester, we're all tired and have been working full tilt. My cousin commented that it's also our age-mid 20s, in transitional spaces, etc. I hadn't thought of that angle before, but it is true.
I walked down Ste. Catherine St today on the way to pick up my cousin from the bus station. So nice to be a silent participant in a crowd. I think it's overwork. But hey, ya gotta do what ya gotta do, right? I know that's a cliche, but right now is the crunch time where all superfluous activities are left by the wayside so I can finish the semester off.
Time to watch tv. A Tasmanian Devil cartoon just came on.
